Vicarious Lips

I kissed you vicariously through her lips

Every time you touched her I felt it

Every time you left it I dealt with it

I made love to you through the clothing you left behind

Your presence left an aroma that I thought was truly divine

Every note she sung to you I composed it.

I lived vicariously through her lips

I felt the bruises you left behind

And the wounds she covered with meticulous precision of her MAC brushes

Highlighting the disease that you have left with me to swallow called

IIMF

It is my fault.

Every lash you laid, banter you gave, stroke you placed on me laid heavy on my chest

And I began to tongue kiss the oppression it caused me because somehow

It is my fault.

It is my fault to have seen the bad in you and overlook it,

My fault to have loved you when I was too good for you

My fault to have given you a chance of day

My fault to have let you steal my heart away

I stood. Watching. Listening and feeling the pain you inflicted on her and said nothing

Because

It is my fault.

I denied the truth knowing it would save you

I gave excuses and kept quiet

When she wept I silently wiped the pain away.

It felt good whenever you left

But almost as soon as I started to understand my worth you brought light

The light I was longing to receive from you since the day we conceived this child of distorted emotions

Where one day you’re needing me and the next you don’t

I was a needed rag to be used, worn and washed brand new

 

I kissed you vicariously through her lips

Every time you touched her I felt it

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